Bad Bad Gun

We just found out about a bad bad gun that killed nine innocent people gathered in a church, and maybe us good folks everywhere should get together and--well, we can't lynch this bad bad gun, but we could confiscate it, melt it down and make political campaign buttons out of it--you know--buttons that say, "Guns Kill," or something like that?

It would be a sorry end to the gun's promising career, but--after all--it deserves it. Where was that gun when a cop or a soldier--or a citizen--could have used it to defend us? Where was it when a defenseless woman in the neighborhood was beaten, raped and robbed? Nowhere in sight.

Get rid of it.

As for the guy who pulled the trigger, he must be the victim of hate feelings or insanity roiling in his unfortunate mind, some inhuman affliction. Maybe we should help him, keep him in a cell until we can understand his psychological dilemma, pay for his bacon and eggs for the next fifty years or his sex change operation. Maybe he can explain what led to the tragedies of nine innocent families while he talks about himself.

Or, maybe we could take him around back and put a bullet through his head.

With a Good Gun.

Some Things Never Change.

In the 1890s, bicycles were all the rage, thanks to the demise of that awkward monstrosity with the big front wheel. Everybody was buying the new designs which used two identical wheels, and two brothers in Dayton, Ohio took advantage of the fashion by opening a successful bicycle repair shop featuring their own versions.

The two brothers, Orville and Wilbur Wright were interested also in what was commonly considered science fiction: a machine that would fly like a bird, so they spent all their spare time working tirelessly on the challenge.

Meanwhile, the U.S.War Department and the Smithsonian Institute funded their own experiments on the idea and Samuel Langley from the museum was in charge of the government money. While Orville and Wilbur were working on their experiments at Kitty Hawk, S,C. with their bicycle tools, Langley hired a team to put together his flying machine and a launch pad on the Potomac River in Washington (this might be considered the first aircraft carrier, except that there were no actual aircraft to carry). Both Langley flights ended up pretty much the same way:

Notice the downward trajectory of the "aeroplane" and its landing:

Back in Kitty Hawk a few days later, The Wright brothers celebrated a soft landing:

Cost to the taxpayer for the Langley flights: $70,000 (millions in today's dollars).

Cost of the Wright brothers' flights: $1,000 of their own money. Cost to the taxpayer: $0.00--zero.

Some things never change.

Watch Hillary.

If you like watching Hillary Clinton, don't stop now--there's lots more coming.

I especially enjoy watching her in her head-nodding mode, as in her famous "listening tour" when she ran for the Senate in New York, or whenever she sat listening to Bill pushing hot air for the crowds. Her head would nod continuously, and if you keep your eye on her, it becomes almost comical.

What's wrong with her neck?

If she was an actress in a show, the director would have to ban such nodding from the scene because it's over the top, too much. "You're indicating," he'd explain, which is a basic faux pas taught in Stagecraft 101. "We want to keep the focus on the main character. The scene is not about how much you understand and agree with the speaker. Nod on the high points, not through the entire scene. It's distracting."

Now, Hillary has bestowed upon us an agreement to attend a congressional hearing to investigate--I forget--some or other of those shenanigans she's always hiding, anyway.

Watch her. Watch how it works. Her legal eagle already declared that her time before the investigative committee will be limited to one session, so we're down to a few hours of Hillary on the hot seat, and the clock starts ticking when the gavel falls. First comes a speech from the committee chairman, tick tick tick. Then, Hillary makes an opening statement, the longer the better for her, tick tick tick. Then inquiries supposedly begin but, first, each political hack scheduled to ask questions will start with a time-consuming speech because, after all, the whole nation is watching, and these hacks must keep their own re-elections always in mind. No doubt voters in his or her district are tuned in.

A typical government committee.

Only a few questions will penetrate this peacock parade to reach clean air, and Hillary will be able to bat them away with long, evasive answers full of speechifying that add up to essentially nothing, aside from eating up the clock. If one of the hacks sums up the courage to ask a specific follow-up question that heats her seat too much (which could happen), Hillary can always throw a hissy fit, as when she threw her arms up and said, "What difference does it make?" at the last hearing she attended, which she coupled with--yup, you guessed it--.a "let's-move-on" speech.

Uh-oh, looks like she's upset. This will strike fear into the hearts of all the politicians in the room. What will the media say about this dramatic outburst? Hillary might be president someday soon, with lots of powers to oppose their re-elections--not to mention that she is actually, at this very moment, still married to William Clinton, who is working on his wife's behalf to re-enter the White House and check out the interns. Bill has many many very very rich friends--also known as political campaign donors. And, George Stephanopoulos might brand the interrogators as a bunch of bullies on ABC next morning.Yikes!

The investigative hearing might have been interesting up to that point, but it will rapidly grind down to a tiring ooze of political posturing from all sides.

Then, tick tick tick--bam--DING-A-LING-A-LING--the gavel will come down. Time's up and everyone goes home. The final result, most likely, will be another long expulsion of flatulence out of Washington.

This may be depressing, but at least it's interesting. And, don't forget, surprises happen sometimes. Meanwhile, if you miss Hillary's entertaining head-nodding show, you could get one of these Bobblehead Hillarys for your dashboard:

Available at Amazon for $19.95.